When others don’t meet our expectations, many choose to be offended. We may never have even discussed our expectations of them. Yet, we assume they know. When we expect others to meet our expectations, we walk in selfish love. We are easily offended when they don’t respond the way we’d like.
We set ourselves up for offense when we require certain behaviors and attitudes from those we interact with. The closer our relationship with them, the more we expect and the greater the potential for offense. Then when we are offended, we justify it because we are the victims.
Prevent Misunderstandings
As a pastor, one of my duties is to provide premarital counseling to couples who intend to get married. Both the groom and the bride bring family expectations with them from their family of origin. These may or may not match. By discussing these expectations, we can prevent conflict over differing expectations.
A major concern is how to celebrate the holidays as a new couple. The bride may have always celebrated Christmas Eve, while the groom thinks it should be Christmas Day. By discussing the differences, they can settle on a compromise before conflict arises and disrupts their relationship. That way no one gets the blame for celebrating Christmas “the wrong way.”
David Expected Friendship
It seems David was betrayed by someone he thought was his friend. Psalm 55: 12 It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. 13 Instead, it is you—my companion and close friend. 14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God. [1]
Paul’s Advice
If we look closely at Paul’s missionary journeys, we see that he is repeatedly mistreated by some of the people he interacts with. Yet, Paul doesn’t become bitter. His love for Jesus overrides everything in his life. He shares how he can do this with the Philippian church.
Philippians 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. [2]
Remember Jesus humbled Himself to become human and die on the cross to save us from our sins. As followers of Jesus, we must follow His example and not put ourselves first but try to understand others. That means humbling ourselves by setting aside our need to be right or to be the victim.
Where do you need to look beyond your pride or feeling like a victim when others don’t meet your expectations? To learn more, listen here:
https://podpoint.com/light-of-christ-church-podcast/03battle-11-8-26
[1,2] Tyndale House Publishers. (2015). Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Tyndale House Publishers.