Have you ever helped someone and were disappointed when the favor was not returned? Ideally, we should be helping others without expectations. Your expectations are your strong hopes or beliefs that something will happen or that you will get something that you want.[1]
Should our motivation for helping others be based on the need to have the service returned or should we help others with no strings attached? Why is it a better decision to help others for the sake of helping with no expectations they will respond the way we think they should?
David Helped Nabal and Expected Something in Return
David was kind to Nabal by protecting his family and large heard of livestock, but when David needed food for his men Nabal had no interest in helping him.
1 Samuel 25:10 “Who is this fellow David?” Nabal sneered to the young men. “Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their masters. 11 Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I’ve slaughtered for my shearers and give it to a band of outlaws who come from who knows where?” 12 So David’s young men returned and told him what Nabal had said. 13 “Get your swords!” was David’s reply as he strapped on his own. Then 400 men started off with David, and 200 remained behind to guard their equipment.
14 Meanwhile, one of Nabal’s servants went to Abigail and told her, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he screamed insults at them. 15 These men have been very good to us, and we never suffered any harm from them. Nothing was stolen from us the whole time they were with us[2]
Preventing False Expectations
Our Lord is the model of helping people even if they responded quickly, slowly, or not at all. Jesus paid the ultimate price on the cross. There He was crucified, and the sins of mankind were poured out upon Him. Our debt of sin was paid in full by Jesus because He loves us and not because He expects something in return.
There are many people who depart into eternity without faith in Jesus as their Savior because they refused the free gift of salvation. There are others who freely except the free gift of salvation and have eternal life.
When we have false expectations in a situation, it often results in conflict. We may expect a friend of spouse to act in the way we desire, but they may see the situation differently. Communication is key in times like these. Ultimately, we need to give each other grace. We can’t control others, but we do have the freedom to choose our response.
Galatians 6:9-10, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.” [3]
To hear more about helping others without expectations, listen here: https://podpoint.com/light-of-christ-church-podcast/seeking-the-lord-changes-my-life-abigail-david
[1] https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/expectation
[2,3] Tyndale House Publishers. (2015). Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.